the holy trinity of Bacon Avocado and Chicken

so i've now broken into the world of "Gourmet" pies. I've gone through all the vanilla that australia has to offer, and now things are getting racey. hence the chicken bacon and avocado pie I had today from the Pies and Coffee House on Manly Beach. The incredible combination of chicken and bacon is one known only to those enterprising enough to have tried them together on a pizza, or lucky enough to find a Chicken BLT. but let me assure you, the flavor sensation of bacon and chicken is sublime, incredible, a whole equaling something far greater than the parts. now, when you mix these two amazing ingredients with a third, Avocado... well just prepare to be blown away. Put it in a pastry shell, and your head might just explode. if it does, I assure you, you will die happy.

pie of childhood

I don't think that I have to tell you that I came to Australia for a genuine experience, The real deal, True Blue, and "Dinky-Di" and all those other funny sounding words. so what could be more genuine than the McDonald's (note that this is McDonald's, the soulless mega-corporation, and not MacDonald's, the small town bakery, full of heart and fresh bread) McAustralian Hamburger, with "All Australian Beef Patty, Fresh Cracked Egg (whatever that means), Fresh Bacon Rashers, Golden Circle(tm) Pineapple Slice, and Barbecue Sauce." this burger has everything I could want, including trade marked pineapple (I love proprietary produce). Interesting side note the McDonalds breakfast menu had a McAmerican Sandwich, which is a bagel sandwich containing egg and bacon. Slightly less interesting side note, Contrary to casual conversation from Pulp Fiction, despite the fact that Australia (like France) is on the metric system, and "wouldn't know what a quarter pounder means," the sandwich is still called a quarter pounder. but back to our original topic, the McAustralian Burger. So I had recieved my order, with surprising efficiency (the speed that makes you wonder if they have a bunker of finished sandwiches out back) and I had decided to walk around outside and have my lunch. I had gotten one bite into my sandwich, and was about to go back for a second go, when my hand was attacked by a very persistent seagull. the McAustralian fell to the floor, and within seconds was engulfed in a squacking writhing ball of gray white feathers, all beak, baby. Thirty seconds later I was looking dumbfounded at an empty sidewalk and a few very satisfied seagulls. this is hardly the first time i have had my lunch stolen by wildlife, It happens so often, that i have started to think that the animals have it out for me. along with this instance, there was the time when I was eating fried chicken at a picnic in the park, when a pidgeon flew straight into my chest, in shock, I dropped the drumstick i had just picked up, which was quickly claimed by several other pigeons, including the original pigeon, who had served as a distraction. The earliest occasion that I remember happened when I was much younger, still in a stroller, and I was at a petting zoo with my family, I was attacked by a wallaby for a cookie I was eating. I guess this last one can't really count though, because years later, my sister confessed to me that she had fed the wallaby the last of her cookie, and that was probably what had gotten it hungering for my cookie, but still, the wallaby stole my damn cookie. And yes, I'm still bitter. so back in the present, I took this surprise air strike as a message to get back to the business of meat pie review, so off i went to the nearest bakery for a meat pie, a small australian meat pie which could be held close, and guarded. i wound up with a Pepper Steak Pie from the Fresh Oven Bakery, in The Rocks, just outside of Circular Quay (say it "key"). The Fresh Oven Bakery serves their pies with a much thicker crust, much less flaky, but no less delicious. The pepper steak pie had whole black pepper corns embedded in the top crust, but this seemed to serve mostly as a garnish. pepper steak pie is quite nice. It has all the flavor of a regular beef pie, with the added zest of black pepper. the pepper flavor is very strong, almost enough to overpower the steak, but it reaches a good balance. the steak in the pie was very tender, and the peppery sauce kept the whole thing juicy without being too tough. the pie itself was quite nostalgic. Pepper Steak Pie was the first meat pie I ever had. When I was 14 years old, I took a trip to Australia with my dad. It was at a waterfront lunch stand (at Circular Qua, Sydney no less) that I first sampled that savory pastry, the pepper steak pie. sure, meat pies have come and gone in the past, the exotic "Rabbit Pie" that I purchased at a farmers market in England, and my discovery of the Empanada, but the pepper steak pie has remained my favorite. The divine right-ness of something as simple as black pepper and steak together in pastry is something so incredible that it just defies explanation. you'll just have to try it for yourself. And I sincerely hope you do so.

one two, one two

it had to happen sooner or later. I have run out of pies to sample in gulgong. I'm sure some of you saw this coming with all the missed updates, and the non-pie entries, but I just can't do it anymore, the fertile plains of Gulgong have run dry, and can't support a pie blog no more. Is This Goodbye? of course not, because as i type this now, i am sitting in Neutral Bay, Sydney, New South Wales. The Big Smoke, as they call it. and i'm sure tucked away in this town are a few good pies to hold me over until I take that trip across the international dateline. stay tuned for tomorrow's update, whatever pie I can find in sydney.

The Meat Pie Review gets dangerous.

so in reading up on nutritional information for the sausage roll, i managed to find this bit of information on frozen processed meat pies sold in australia. "A study by ACA in 2006 found 5 of the 23 pie products tested had less than the minimum 25% meat required." less than 25% meat. that is a meat pie, containing 75% "other" even more, any pie that uses meat other than beef, pork, or chicken is allowed to just put the frighteningly ambiguous "meat" on their list of ingredients, but given what we now know, i am just reassured to know that meat is present. With this frightening fact, I knew what i had to do. put my health and wellbeing on the line for journalistic integrity. The people have to know what it is like to eat a pie which might only contain 25% meat. I am a martyr to the truth, and so in the spirit of Edward R. Murrows, reporting on the german airstrikes from inside london, i thawed and microwaved up a single Sargent's Meat Pie(tm). Sargent, please don't sue me. the first think i noticed as the pie came out of the toaster oven (a step which must be taken to avoid soggy pies, nobody likes soggy pies) was the brand name of Sargent stamped onto the crust, much in the same way (and almost the same font) as the brand name of Ford stamped into the center of one of their hard rubber steering wheels. So here's the deal. Imagine sloppy joe mix, with peas and something that looks like carrots in it. Put that in a pie shell. Now put the whole thing in a particle accelerator until it reaches the temperature of the sun. Do particle accelerators really do that? I don't know. I don't want to know. but that's exactly what a frozen meat pie does when put in the microwave. I'm sure that somewhere, under the crust, under the superheated magma, there was a rotating core of superdense beef giving this thing it's own north and south magnetic poles. but you let it cool off a bit, and it's not too bad. the texture definetely left something to be desired, and I am still not convinced that those were really carrots, what can you really expect at 5AUD for a pack of four pies. (apparently, nothing over 50% meat). and is this australian celebration of cheap eats any worse than Ramen, or Spam. It could certainly be no worse than heat and eat bacon (they weren't even in the freezer section of the store...) the trick with any of this is to not think too hard about what your doing, and enjoy the mad rush of it all. Now if i'm finished making cheap quisine look like a thrilling game of Russian Roullette, I think i'm done here. I still think I'm gonna hold off on the ready to serve bacon for now.

Sheee's My Curry Pie.

curried beef pie. so i can understand the connection between the brittish and indian cuisine, what with the rich history of trade between England and India (years of horrible imperealism), but just what is the connection between australia and indian food? And just how did a Curried Beef Pie come to be sold here? I suppose I suppose i should have learned my lesson from the mexican pie, but i've got plog updates to do here. it seems that the australian definition of curry is rather loose. apparently you just take beef stew and add a pinch of curry powder and a spoonfull of brown sugar. I guess you can't blame them, their one major link to india (being English) ended about 200 years ago, and since then I guess they've had to let their indian cuisine evolve on it's own, into what is really just slightly smokey tasting beef stew, with a few extra peas, and occasionally something spicy.

Bendigo? Wagga Wagga Show? 1951?!?

There was a time when I thought that the meap pie stood alone as the lone savory pastry in a world of sweet fruit fillings. Okay, well, that's not true, but you try getting empanadas in australia. Today, I was proven wrong. you see, the australians have this thing called a sausage roll. Given the peculiar taxonomy of australian food (a salad roll is apparently a vegitable sandwhich), I had expected some sort of delicious sausage in a bun, I have since discovered that this is a "Sausage S'wich". Oh no, the sausage roll is something completely different. Imagine, if you will, turkey stuffing, like what you eat on thanksgiving, all bread, and ground meats, and spices. now wrap that in a roll of flaky pastry, and you have a sausage roll. a lunch so unhealthy that Bob Carr, Premier of New South Wales went on record as saying that raising your children on a diet of sausage rolls and chicko rolls was akin to child cruelty. I don't even know what chicko rolls are. the wikipedia article on them starts of with
"The Chiko Roll or CHIKO Roll is an Australian savoury snack developed by Frank McEncroe, a boilermaker from Bendigo, and first appeared at the Wagga Wagga Show in 1951."
There is so very much I do not understand here. I am truly a stranger in a strange land, grasping for familiarity on my culinary travels.

OzMex

there was an awkward silence today as I left MacDonald's Bakery, for nearly two weeks, i had come in and ordered a new meat pie, but today, what could I do, i had sampled the best of their pies, and they had nothing new, so I shook my head and solemnly left, maybe I would be back someday, to try their exotic "salad roll", or even a turkey sandwich with vegimite, but for now, I had other quarry, more meat pie. goodbye MacDonald's, you've been good to me. so off I went, to the Gobble and Go. what could have been a gas station quick stop, judging by the name, turned out to be a very tasteful (and tasty) cafe and bakery, advertising sandwiches, rolls, and (yes!) pie. When I looked over their menu, I was sorry to find that most of their pies I had already tried at MacDonalds, but there were a few fortunate exceptions which stood out, one which particularly cought my eye. Never in my life did I think that so far from the soutwest would I find a "Mexican Pie." in fact, regardless of geography, the mexican pie is not something I would have expected even in the heart of Jalisco. Honestly, the mexican pie was almost quaint, in the way that australians tried to go for some latino flavor. The filling was not completely unlike chilli. The pork was right, the bell peppers (Capsicum, as the australians call them) was almost right, what gave the pie away as an imposter was the curry powder they had used to give it spice. And the ketchup that they had used as a stand in for salsa did not help matters. In the end, imagine an adorable version of taco bell, and that's about how mexican this was, but you could tell they were really trying. Don't get me wrong, the pie was just fine, it was quite enjoyable, really, it just lacked authenticity, but I guess what can you expect out of Australian mexican food.

Chicken pot pie, or is it!?!? yeah, it is.

well readers, i'm back, after a brief hiatus. bet you thought i had eaten through all the pies gulgong had to offer, but here i am, back with a review of the Chicken Supreme pie. this is the first not beef pie i have tried so far, and i must say, it was pretty good. as i ordered the Chicken Supreme pie, I was expecting something similar to the american Chicken Pot Pie, probably the most popular meat pie outside of prime meat pie territory. A chicken pot pie is what i had expected, and a chicken pot pie is exactly what i got. creamy chicken with peas and carrots. i've got really nothing to reflect on here, this was just a good thick pie, perfect for a cold day.

on the philosophy of the australian burger.

So I'm going to stray from the stated topic of this blog a bit, and talk about something a bit different today. And that is the australian hamburger. Is it a meat pie? Well, no. But hey, I need some variety in my diet. have you ever stopped to think about the cultural implications of garnish? The condiment mentality? Why is it that americans serve hamburgers with sliced lettuce, cheese, pickles, and onions on a sesame seed bun? why is ketchup the pre-eminent ruler of condiments in all things burger? what ruling dogmatist said "This goes on a burger, anything else is unamerican" okay, maybe that's an exagerration, but you have to admit, there is a standardization of burgers in this country. Any extra ingredients deem the burger as "gourmet" and can add up to 4 dollars to the overall cost. For canadian bacon, and grilled pineapple? Well I have been to the mountain top. I Have eaten the hamburger, as prepared by australians. And it is good, my brothers and sisters, it is good. Let me make myself clear on one account I did not order a specialty gourmet burger, there were no add ons or modifications to this order, this is how they serve burgers all over Australia (i've done research). You order your sandwich, and up comes this massive son of a burger, patty on top of a bed of shaved carrot, carrot sandwiched between patty and a mass of lettuce (they call this full salad), sitting on top of the patty are a few slices of canned beet root. That's right, I said beet root. deep purple beet root. crowning this entire creation, right under the top bun, is a singular fried egg. Which I can tell you, they are not gentle with. This is the australian hamburger. And I love it.

on the topic of tomato sauce

after my daring luch yesterday, i decided to go simple today and order a plain beef pie. And when asked if i wanted sauce, I said sure, plain beef pie by itself does not give much to talk about, but the topic of australian tomato sauce, now that is a blog entry. now if an australian offers you tomato sauce, which they pronounce with a soft 'a' as do the british, what they really mean is "ketchup" and if you want some actual tomato sauce, you will have to ask for "Marinara." all this aside, tomato sauce (and by that i mean ketchup) goes surprisingly well on meat pie. the high vinegar flavor complements any savory filling incredibly. the flakiness of the crust with the acidity of the vinegar is a bit weird, but if you can get used to meat pastry, you can get used to anything. most places have tomato or barbecue sauce for 20c extra, which was a bit strange for me with the ubiquity of the ketchup dispencer at nearly every fast food joint in the US, but it's worthe the extra change.

steak and kidney pie

As I walked towards MacDonalds bakery today, I knew today would be the day. Today I would finally try steak and kidney pie. perhaps the most iconic of all meat pies, steak and kidney pie has remained one of those outlandish concepts to me, skirting the domain of meat pie possibility. The sort of thing I would occasionally think of trying, and then going, "You mean kidney? the filtration organ? those kidneys? nah." but today was the day. As I walked boldly towards the bakery, the scene that kept replaying in my mind was a bit from the simpsons, back when the show was good, when lisa was going to england. Marge is reminding her "in england, they have kilometers instead of miles, grams instead of pounds, and Steak and Kidney pie instead of botchulism." Steak and Kidney pie instead of botchulism. Steak and Kidney pie instead of botchulism. In marge's nag nag naggy voice. This was coming right at me from the built in playback circuit next to the id ego and superego on the modern brain. Was I about to get in over my head? We who are about to dine salute you. So I place my order, and I bite in, tentatively at first, but with growing zeal. this isn't half bad. any meat pie fanatic who happened to be raised on deli food will note the similarity between Steak and Kidney pie and chopped liver. this is like a pie made of warm chopped liver and gravy. It was actually quite comforting. this really does make a lot of sence, when you consider the similar functions of kidneys and livers, from a biological standpoint. The kidney added greatly to the stability of the pie, making the overall filling a bit like a delicious meat pudding. I guess the point is, give something a try, and if you're not too hung up on obscure ingredients, you might be pleasantly surprised.

Beef Tomato & Egg Bacon & Onion Pie

on the smooth flowing blackboard of MacDonald's Bakery, every pie is in order, plain beef, beef and kidney, curried chicken, potatoe and pea, save for the double lined monstrosity that is Beef Tomato & Egg Bacon & Onion Pie. it is written just like this, the name is so long that it needs two ampersands. I decided it was finally my time to try this breakfast beast. so I stepped up and placed my order, I think they're starting to recognize me now, that strange american who comes in here every other day and orders a pie. I can't help it. They're delicious. And this great big moster of a pie was no exception. this pie was practically an omelette, with a mass of round cooked egg acting as the crust, embedded with sundried tomatoes, bacon, and onion. the beef filling slunk at the bottom, almost as an afterthought to the full eggy goodness that dominated the pie. as you eat through a Beef Tomato & Egg Bacon & Onion Pie, you are occasionally confronted through the egg with solid masses of egg yolk, that's right, they didn't beat this egg, they just tossed it down and let it sit, as any egg pie should be made. The Structural integrity added by the egg made this probably the easiest egg to eat, and definitely a delicious treat.

Beef and Mushroom Pie

Allright, updating from work this time, so this should be a quick post. I'm updating from work, and I have co-workers coming in and out of the office. Today, was the Beef and Mushroom Pie. Beef and Mushroom are another one of those flavor combinations which is hard to beat. The only problem with this pie is that it was a bit too juicy, making it a bit of a challenge to eat on the go. this seems to be a problem with all pies, although some are easier to eat than others. With most pies, the reward does outweigh the cost, but there are some exceptions. The challenge provided by this pie was perhaps a 7 out of 10, while the taste I would place at an 8, making it well worth the challeng.

And the first reviews come in

alright, these three reviews are written after the fact, as the idea to keep a blog of my meat pie findings didn't even occur until a friend of mine suggested it. so our first three pies are Steak Potato and Pea Pie, Steak Cheese and Bacon Pie, and Beef Tomato and Onion Pie.

1) Steak Potato and Pea Pie
This was the first pie I had on my first day at work, and is truly a delicious pie. juicy, yet hearty enough to be held by hand while eaten. Potato Peas and Steak just seem to form an unbreakable triangle of stew perfection. In this pie, the top crust is made of a browned layer of mashed potatoes, making it similar to a miniscule shepherds pie. A fine, solid pie, despite the difficulties that arise over trying to say "pea pie".

2) Steak Cheese and Bacon Pie
Work was kind of slow this day, so I decided to duck out for an early lunch around 11. at the bakery, I decided to go for the more breakfast-y option of bacon. All I can say is I'm glad they dared to throw both steak and bacon in there. I can see the mad baker laughing maniacaly over his oven as he tries to harnes the high levels of awesome that flow from the merging of bacon and steak, stabilized by cheese. Well good job mad baker, it worked.

3) Beef Onion and Tomato Pie
This is the only time that I can honestly say that I was dissapointed in a meat pie. don't get me wrong, the pie was alright, but that's it. nothing special. I've never been a big stewed tomato fan anyway, so that could have swayed my judgement. The pie ran a bit too, making it hard to eat, and limiting it's portibility.

welp, here we go

Alright, let's hit the ground running, Start Media Res, as they say. I'm in Australia. Gulgong. apparently it's an old gold rush town. Let's not get too worried about how I got to be in Australia, that's not central to the story, what is important is that i'm in Australia, and I came to work on a sheep farm. They put me to work on their website. This being said, I have a half an hour lunch break. And I love meat pies. being that I live in Los Angeles, I normally can't get meat pies unless I feel like going to "Ye Olde Robin Hoode's Pub", and I rarely do. so for this month, I vow, I Pledge, to sample some of the best meat pies that Gulgong has to offer. And Record my very scientific findings here.